The “terrible twos” phase and how to deal with the “tantrums” that come with it.
Every child has a unique personality, which becomes more apparent as they grow older. Their character is shaped by a combination of factors, including the people around them, genetics, and thier living environment. However, as your little one reaches the age of two, they may tend to exhibit a common personality trait - temper tantrums or the infamous "terrible twos." Firstly, it's important to note that the term "terrible twos" is a misnomer; it is characterised by resistant behaviour.
These behaviours include saying "no," kicking, biting, ignoring instructions, and throwing themselves on the floor. However, these tantrums can start as early as their first birthday and may not fully manifest until your child is three years old. The nickname has stuck because around the age of 2 is when toddlers hit key developmental milestones such as communicating in two or five-word sentences, walking, climbing, and gaining a solid foundation of concepts like "mine," "no," "bad," and "good," which they didn’t necessarily understand before.
The root of these milestones, often referred to as the classic "terrible twos phase," is about asserting independence, testing boundaries, and learning how to communicate their fundamental needs and wants. This process also involves recognising that these needs and wants may sometimes differ from those of their parents and caregivers.
"Terrible Twos Symptoms":
• Your child might be very loving and clingy one moment, and then suddenly start yelling at you.
• Refusals are also common among children - they might refuse to do things like eating, changing clothes or diapers, and even refuse to be touched by their parents.
• To get your attention, they might resort to various actions and tactics, including screaming at the top of their lungs while looking directly at you, throwing things, or repeatedly hitting their head against the wall or floor.
• Terrible twos are characterised by antagonistic behaviour towards parents and frequent mood changes, often accompanied by tantrums.
How to help your little one through their "temper tantrum":
• Give them a few minutes to cry or scream it out.
• Once they have calmed down, hug them and wipe their faces.
• Now that they are composed, ask them to tell you how they feel and try to help them navigate through their emotions.
• Encourage your little one to come to you and ask for help the next time they feel overwhelmed or need something.
This can be a very trying and challenging time for parents, caregivers, and teachers. You might feel like you're not a good parent and guilt trip yourself, which may affect how you treat your child. Sometimes parents overcompensate or take their frustration out on their partner or helper.
It's crucial in these moments not to be too hard on yourself; take a breather, self-regulate, and remember that raising a little human is a big task. They are trying to understand what this life is about, and you are doing a great job. Remember, this is only a phase!